Better By You, Better Than Me
by The Guitar Person
Summary: "Guess I'll have to change my way of living, guess I'll learn to fight and kill." Two men talk about the New Castle incident on Christmas eve. Devil May Cry x Constantine series crossover. Rated M for swearing and alcohol.


_A/N: I own nothing. Just started watching the Constantine series and with the announcement of Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition, I just had to write something._

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><p>"Happy Christmas, ya demon-bred fuck."<p>

Dante tried rolling his eyes but found that the mere action hurt his head more than it should have. For God's sake, he'd taken swords to the chest, bullets to the head but right now, merely _existing_ was a chore, not helped by present company and probably not helped by the jug of absinthe they had been taking slugs from all night. It was pretty much the only thing that could get him drunk.

"Heh, I'd tell you to go to hell Johnny boy, but I'm thinking you'd probably enjoy it there. Fire, brimstone and assholes. _Tons_ of assholes, both literal and figurative."

The blond haired man chuckled lightly, taking another swig of the bottle they shared. Absinthe wasn't really suited to binge consumption but his host didn't have the luxury of other drinks.

The devil hunter frowned thoughtfully. "Any luck on Astra?"

The self-proclaimed _petty dabbler_ in the Dark Arts gave a bitter chuckle. "Yeah, lots of luck, all bad."

"You said you'd let me help you."

"You are helpin' mate – by staying far, far away from me."

"Are you still on that bullshit? That _you're_ the one causing people to die? Are you _that_ egotistical?"

John roughly took the bottle from Dante and took another swig. His companion glared at him as he made a show of gulping down an obscene amount of absinthe.

"Gary's dead, d'ya know that?"

Dante opened his mouth to reply but John started talking again.

"I had to, before you ask. No other choice."

"Yeah, guess that's the thing with hanging out with you dude. We all knew what we signed up for."

"Did you? When you invited yourself to our various shindigs of Satanic debauchery, did you honestly think of the consequences? Cause I didn't."

The hunter sighed heavily. John was chatty but most of the time, it was a combination of bluster and humor. Right now, his alcohol clouded mind seemed to loosen his tongue in different ways.

"I didn't think either. But you were my friend, John. And even when you knew what I was, you didn't flinch, you didn't scream, you didn't run away. You treated me the same as all the other guys there. You cut me loose because you thought that this was your burden alone to bear. C'mon man, it's Christmas. We shouldn't be dwelling on this. Not anymore."

"If your tryin' to convince me on giving up on her mate….."

"I'm not. I'm just saying…..I've seen what you're going up against. Let me _help_ you."

John smiled warmly, while he took a merry puff of his cigarette. "You know, that's why I love you so much, mate. You're like Saint Nick but, you know, a gun-toting, demon-killing machine."

Dante took another swig of absinthe, grimacing as the liquid burned down his throat.

"You are one stubborn sonavabitch, ya know that?"

"I get that a lot. You worried about me?"

The demon hunter glared at the smirking sorcerer before he let out a quiet chuckle.

"Nah. I know you've got that immortal cab driver of yours."

"Chas. You _know _who Chas is."

"He's not going to be enough to protect you."

"Oh, and _you_ are?"

"You _know _what I can do."

"And you know what _happens _to people who associate with me."

"I'm not your boyfriend, John. Hell, I think we're barely even friends at this point."

"That's _not_ my fault you sod! Do you even _own_ a cellphone?"

"…I got one this Christmas."

"Email address?"

"…"

"Figures. Didn't that bird of yours teach you anything yet?"

"Trish? She know less about that stuff than me."

John's brow furrowed. "_Trish_? What happened to Lady?"

"Oh, right, I got a new sidekick. Picked her up from Mallet Island."

John let out a sardonic laugh. "Same here. Except _she_ was the one who picked me up. Mine draws prophetic pictures. What about yours?"

"Blonde demon who looks a lot like my mom."

The sorcerer smirked. "What _is_ it with you and blondes?"

Dante smiled before taking yet another swig and passing the bottle. "I don't know. Guess I have a type."

"Just curious, why _aren't_ you hanging out with them? Because if _I'm_ your idea of a holiday date, then you've really lowered your standards since I met you."

"Dunno. I think we've got that in common John."

"What? Having low standards?"

"No, masochistic tendencies. Drink up, you're making me miserable."

John took a long drought from the bottle. "It's what I do. Thanks for the booze mate. Wish we could be drinking under better circumstances."

Dante smiled sleepily at his stubborn friend. "Merry Christmas, asshole. You got the same number cellphone? You should come to the shop sometime, I'll introduce Trish to you."

John smiled solemnly, shaking his head.

"It was worth a try."

"Sorry mate."

"Hey John?"

"Yes Dante?"

"Don't die."

"Same to you mate."

Snow fell all around the small bar.

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><p><em>AN: Just in case any of you were wondering, I am fully aware of John Constantine's sexual orientation in the comics and it WAS confirmed in the show that he is bisexual. As for him and Dante….well, I think I made it clear that they were involved back in the day, maybe a few months before New Castle. Dante split from the gang before the Astra incident (to keep them from finding out about his heritage) and likely heard about what happened through hearsay. He's been trying to help Constantine since then, since he likely feels a bit of guilt because he wasn't present the night that Astra got dragged to Hell. John won't let him mostly because he's afraid that something might happen to Dante, likely something worse than death. _


End file.
